Calvinist Flyswatter

Floundering "Flounders"

WHY THE "FOUNDERS"
ARE CALLED "FLOUNDERS"

Some who are affiliates, friends, or admirers of the self-proclaimed "Founders Ministries" do not appreciate my referring to them as "Flounders."

My primary reason for so doing is that the "Founders" are simply "Flounders" by legitimate, lexical definition. Webster defines the term "flounders" as follows:

"1. to struggle to move or obtain footing. 2. to proceed or act clumsily or ineffectually (a bright student floundering because of poor study habits."

The "Founders" have struggled to obtain "footing" with their hybrid version of "Calvinism" since the 1980s, and they have proceeded clumsily and ineffectually because of poor study habits -- hence, they qualify for being described as "Flounders."

Nicknames have always been used when referring to those who do not live up to the pretensions signified by their own selected designations. For example, "Campbellites" is the most frequently used nickname for those who claim they are the "Church of Christ."
Likewise, "Hardshells" is the nickname commonly used of those who represent themselves to be the "Primitive Baptist Church." Neither the Campbellites nor the Hardshells fulfill the pretensions of their selected designations, and neither do the "Founders."

Furthermore, the use of the term "Flounders" serves to express in a simple manner the fact that I do not regard the so-called "Founders Ministries" as an organization which is worthy of the respect of anyone who is either a confessional Baptist or a creedal Calvinist.

I regard the "Flounders" as a parasitical, proselytizing sect-in-the-making.

posted by Bob L. Ross @ 11:25 PM