Thursday, March 19, 2009

"White Lightning" Strikes Again


Surprise! Surprise!

The redoutbable appallingist, James White, of the "JAMES WHITE 'BORN AGAIN BEFORE FAITH' WHITE LIGHTNING DISTILLERY & MFG. CO., PHOENIX AZ" has made the remarkable assertion that "Spurgeon was not infallible"!!

Can you imagine that? Spurgeon . . . not infallible? Who would have ever thunk it!

And why the discovery of this so late in time, over a hundred years after the death of the hitherto "infallible" Legend? What accounts for this ignorance for so long a period of time? Will this discovery go down in Christian history in the same category as Luther's discovery that the just shall live by faith? or perhaps the discovery of Greek manuscripts since the King James Version? or even the location of Noah's Ark?

And on what basis does the brewer of the "White Lightning" mash which says that the elect get born again before, without, and apart from faith make this amazing and astounding proclamation? Why, on the same basis as usual -- Spurgeon's view does not pass James' "exegeet'n" measuring rod.

According to James' patent S. O. P., Spurgeon held a view on a Scripture text with which James dogmatically disagrees; therefore, Spurgeon has fallen from the ranks of presumed infallibility.

James declares in so many words and in his usual "exegeetive" mode of operation, that he has no doubt that he is right and Spurgeon is wrong. His words are, "They cannot document errors in what I have said about the context, the meaning of words, etc. They can only say, 'Well, you could also understand it this way....' That my interpretation is fair, contextual, and consistent, seems to be acknowledged."

There you have it -- the conclusive proof from the White Lightning Distillery itself that James is right and Spurgeon was wrong!

Does James care to debate the matter? I doubt it.

So . . . what else is new at the White Lightning Distillery?

Will wonders never cease?

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