Calvinist Flyswatter

"They'll do it every time" #2

FLORIDA FLOUNDERS FIND FUEL
FOR FOMENTING FLIMFLAM

I knew it would be forthcoming. From the time I first saw the announcement about the "John 3:16" Conference, I just knew it would most likely inspire all the mouth-watering Hybrids to come out of the woodwork whining, whimpering, and complaining. Hybrid reaction to the Conference was about as predictable as a Timmy Brister Twitter.

Flounders Tom Ascol and Timmy Brister of the "Tom and Tim Blogs & Twitters Production Co. Inc." have jumped on the "John 3:16ers" with both feet, and are now indulging themselves once again in their favorite Internet pasttime -- critiquing those twisted minds who differ with them on the Pedobaptist "Reformed" version of "Calvinism."

Never mind Brister's stats about how many lost souls are living all around Ascol's Cape Coral church. Never mind the stats about the multitude of suicides that have taken place in their vicinity. Never mind that after all these years they have never engaged in evangelism to the extent of establishing a single church. Never mind that they can recite the "5 points" forward and backward while standing on their heads but evidently have yet to "recover the gospel" so as to become an authentic evangelistic church.

Never mind all those things. First things first. And that means the "defense of the doctrines of grace" (aka Pedobaptist "Reformed" Hybrid Calvinism).

Let the neighbors perish without hearing the Gospel . . . let Floridians go to Hell without even being given a Gospel tract by Ascol or Brister . . . let lost sinners within their reach fin for themselves -- the "defense" of Hybrid Calvinism must take precedence.

They know what will "draw a crowd" to their blogs -- whine, whimper, and complain about fellows like Steve Lemke, Malcolm Yarnell, Johnny Hunt, Jerry Vines, etc. etc. If they didn't have something on that order to gripe about, what would they do? . . . Twitter? . . . put up a new blog? . . . sponsor a conference?

posted by Bob L. Ross @ 5:00 PM